didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
