wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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