Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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