thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
