I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am full of burrito and curiosity
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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