theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
