i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
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We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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