she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
