You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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