I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
