My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize