really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
