Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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