Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
