o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize