she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
