Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
