New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize