he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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