Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
