I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
