sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
