Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sober January is a disaster.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
