one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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