Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize