No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
