Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
