know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
