Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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