so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize