why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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