i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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