Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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