I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Randomize
