I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
