Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm at about main and main street
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
