Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
