When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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