I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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