You're earring is so big in my mouth
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize