the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
