Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize