After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
