I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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