last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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