My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
