hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
