I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
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No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
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My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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