the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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