My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
