we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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