what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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