its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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