I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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