i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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