Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
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