His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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