Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed