yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas