I swear she didn't look like that last week.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
