So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
porn star boner night. come get it.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
