He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize