We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
