Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
